uggghhhh

Life is strange, what I want I can't have and I'm not sure there is something on the end that wants me like that, I'm not sure I want to be wanted right now, even by the one I thought I wanted to want me.

Did that make sense? With the Jamaican things just seem off. Communication is stalled and I'm worried about going to see him next month. I don't know what is going to happen but right now it just seems like the semi connection we did have is anything but now. Or maybe it never was there and I being the hopeless romantic I just made a chance encounter out to be more than what it was.....a chance to fuck in a different place. He may have only seen me as a conquest. I may have been that had sex taken place...it didn't so now I'm the girl who missed out, but I want that happily ever after. I'm going to get that happily ever after....don't stop get it get it. And even if you don't get it have fun along the way lol.

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