Sunday, November 6, 2011

Black is the new blond.

I wish I took better pictures. I consider myself a very pretty girl, but photogenic I am not. I have to try and find my best light, and my smile could use some work and the camera adds a huge amount if weight. My current hair color is black, I can't think of a time as an adult that my hair color has ever been black. Dark reddish brown, yes but jet I must say it gives me a truly different look, and my hair looks really healthy and strong. I look in the mirror and I feel good. But when I take a picture, I look very blah. Good thing I live in real life and not in pictures :-).

Today I feel a lot if different emotions. Anxious, nervous, unsettled, and very high with energy. Which is strange because I woke up about 2 am and stayed up for hours. Thinking and wondering and wishing. I Googled locations and flights and thought of gifts and family issues and wrote more of my novel and finally forced myself to sleep.

When you know what you want without any doubt, waiting for it to come about is like dying a slow death each moment between what is and what should be. I have never been more commited to a person, place or thing, excluding Samantha in my life and his presence makes me happy.