Thursday, December 24, 2009

Very Young Girls

I watched this show on Showtime the other day and it still has me wanting to go out and join every support group I can find. The movie was called Very Young Girls and it was about young teenage girls who were in "the life" and about showing them a way to learn that there is more out there than being a prostitute for a pimp. Some successfully left, while others went back, time and time again.

There was one girl on the show who was mad as hell at her "Daddy" when she first started talking to him on the phone, and by the end she was smiling and talking about having kids with this man, and I was left thinking what the fuck? She was so excited about the conversation she just had with him that she couldn't wait to talk to him again and she had just hung up the phone with him.

I wanted to know just want this grown ass man had said to her, a child, and why she couldn't see that he would say whatever he had to say to get her to come back, which is what she did. I wanted to scream for her to not listen to this crap he was spewing and to not do whatever it was he wanted her to do. I was on just her side of the conversation yet I could tell that whatever the fuck he was saying wasn't true.

I wanted to yell that any man that loved you wouldn't want you to be with another person. That any man that loved you would not be with you and many other women, and that if he really loved you, he would not take from you, he would be giving of himself. I wanted to tell her that any man who would take from you, is not a man. And that a true man wants to go to work to provide for his family, only a punk wants to let a child risk her life to take care him. How could she not see it when I could see it so clearly?

The one thing these girls kept saying is that he says he loves me, and wants to be with me. Which led me to wonder, that as women is there something in us that wants to be loved even to point of risking our very being for it? What is going on in the home that makes these girls think that having just one person to love them no matter how bad they get treated by that person and no matter what they coerced to do, that this one person will make everything else in their lives wonderful?

The show actually had pimps on as they tried to pick up girls for their rooster. Watching these two asses made me wonder all sorts of things. From my view point they were nothing special, nothing that would make me want to lay up under someone else then hand over my money to them. They looked average, or even below average, didn't have a flashy car or even expensive clothes, so what was it? Then I paid attention to how the acted towards the girls. They were very complimentary and loving, lavishing praises on them and excessively telling them how good they looked and how much they loved them, wanted to be with them and marry them and have kids with them.

They bought them things, took them places and spent the time with them and in the beginning they are EVERYTHING to these girls. You want to be loved, I'll love you, you want to go to the mall and buy stuff, here take this roll of cash, your father ran off and you have no idea who who he is, I'm play your daddy and make sure i protect you from everything else, including your momma that was giving you a hard time about cleaning the house....they become all encompassing for these girls.

Once the pimps had the girls hooked they made them prove their loyalty or love for them, which usually involved them turning a trick once again for "Daddy." You remember when I took you out, well it takes money and now I'm broke. You like getting your hair and nails done right, well I spent my last dollar feeding you. I can't get a job because I'm taking care of you, were a partnership and you need to bring something to the table.....Pure craziness at the highest level!

I wanted to reach into the TV and choke the crap out of these guys, okay maybe that isn't quite right but at the least I wanted to kick them in the knee caps. Violence is never the answer or the solution but sometimes it's part of the essay lol.

Watching the show made me realize one thing: I want to help. I don't know how I'm going to do it yet but trust me when I say I'm going to be part of the solution to help this totally jacked up problem. And no I won't be going around kicking pimps in the knee caps, well don't hold it against me if I do.

If a teenager is too young to consent to sex, how can she or he be arrested for prostitution, yet the molester is free to leave and is not considered a molester because he paid for a prostitute....huh? Underage is underage and something needs to be done. Watch the show....get involved and finally love your children people


Sunday, December 13, 2009


Regrets are those things that make you go hmmmm, I wish I would have done "blank." Or they can be the opposite and then it's I wish I wouldn't have done "whatever." Do we all have regrets? I'm sure we do but in the end we have to be comfortable enough to live with the decisions that were made at that time. To let the person we were then shape the person we are now.

That's not to say that one should not have regrets but the issue is more can you accept what you did or did not do and be able to move on?

There are many times I find myself saying "if I had the chance to do it over I would do it differently." Through the years I'm finding that the things I regret are the things that I didn't do when I had the chance versus the things that I did do.

I would much rather have the option of saying, "man, I won't do that again" over "well I guess I'll never get the chance to do that." Not having the chance to do something that you want to do will always leave you with a feeling of emptiness and not knowing how the situation would have ended. You will always have that feeling of what if, if you choose to not do something that deep down you wanted to do.

For example, I have always wanted to go to Mardi Gras, and come back to Ohio with a whole lot of beads. Yes, I know that I can still go, but now it wouldn't be the same. I will always know that I didn't get to experience New Orleans as it was meant to be experienced.

Does that mean that I will always run out and do something crazy? No, but it does mean that I will more times than not give something a chance, if I don't like it I never have to do it again.

I am staring to see how my past choices made me into the person I am now, sorta crazy, hella funny and willing to try new things with a slight push. Hey I'm trying to not live with regrets not go totally buck wild. Just my thoughts for this evening...enjoy ;~)

Monday, December 7, 2009

You want to do what???

For five years I have read books consistently. Every time you see me, you see a book in my hand. I first started reading out of pure necessity. I had recently moved to Columbus and soon after I began taking the bus to work. Now before this time I would have never declare myself a book worm, hell I went all the way through college without ever cracking open a book. I did graduate but lets just say that in retrospect I would have read the books instead of carting them to and from class and home. My GPA would have been greatly enhanced had I just taken the time to read what was written between the covers.

I had never in my life had I been on public transportation so I was unaware of the dangers that would accompany me on my way to and from work. The dangers I personally came in contact with were the men I like to call toothless wonders. It seemed that I was a target to men that were missing four or more teeth. And they knew it, they would see me just sitting there and I'm going guessing but to them I must have appeared as an easy target and highly approachable. Men with various formations of missing teeth would approach me and try to pick me up. I soon learned that to stop these crazy toothless men from coming directly to me, not stopping at go but instead landing directly in my vicinity, I needed a diversion and thus I started reading.

At first I would read only during my trips to and from work. Then it started to increase to during work hours and then finally I was reading all the time. If I was meeting someone and they were late I would pull out my book to read a few pages. I was at the point were I was inseparable from these authors. Then one day a thought entered my mind "you should write a book" at first it was just a small tickle so I just shrugged it off, but through the years that tickle would get louder and louder until it was a full blown tantrum, telling me that I needed to write a book. I am proud to say that I am currently working on my first novel, and when asked what I do for a living instead of saying I work for the state I proudly announce that I'm a writer.

Do you hear that universe, I'm a writer!!! Oprah said put it out there so I'm putting it out there ;-)

Sunday, December 6, 2009


Have you ever found it difficult to start something? I know that I have, really starting for me is not the issue, my issue is the follow through. Starting and stopping, different sides of the same coin. I am taking this time to start a new beginning for myself, and in doing so I am stopping my endeavors in doing something for other people.

With this blog I plan to entertain in various ways, illuminating situations and by telling short stories. Never will you tune in and read a boring story, you will always have a thought inducing moment with me wrytagirl, so kick back and enjoy!!!