Wednesday, April 27, 2011


It is easy to be positive when things are going your easy. Seriously what is there to complain about when everything is going your way. In times where life hands you something other than rainbows it's still a time to look on the bright side. Things can always be worse, look around your temporary situation is someone elses full time situation. What you may not have at the moment someone else may never even possess. When things are not going my way, usually do to my own fault, I simply look around and say thanks for all I do have and for all I have accomplished. I have acheivements most people will never reach. I strongly believe we are put in situations to help us move forward and to grow. Knowing what we need to work on and actually working on those issues two totally different things. Having to work on those issues is what makes us better more understanding, compassionate people. Even though I am currently in a less than desirable situation. I still offer thanks.....and in a month where there have been more wet days than dry, I am currently thankful I made it home dry :-)
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Friday, April 15, 2011

The place to be

I'm in a very good place right now. Yep I truly enjoy this space right here. I feel like I have options. Isn't that what we all want. To have the option to do something different, even if we dont go after it, just knowing that the option is out there makes us feel better. Right now I have a lot of options, some are purely self driven and some are dericive on other people but in the end I have options. I feel that we as people feel the most alive and valued when we know that others see us as something worth possessing. That doesn't mean we have to strongly value what others think or feel, but it does mean that no matter how highly we may think of ourselves, without the value given from the outside there is no true form of measurement. My self motto is: Practically Perfect in Every Way... not only do I believe it, but my actions show others that this is the measure I hold myself to. But if I showed a lack of concern or showed that I did not strive for excellence, my motto would be null in void. Others would not see the motto and equate it with me. However right now I'm happy and enjoying this place for me.
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Thursday, April 14, 2011

Bright Sunshiny Day

Today has been the most amazing day. Why you ask? Well for starters I'm just happy, I feel like no matter the issue everything is going to work out. And trust me there are issues. Then theres the man situation. Things are still going good. I'm learning to live in the moment. Finally, after six long months of not being on probation I'm finally off. Not only am I off but next Tuesday I have an interview. How quick is that and how wonderful is that? First time out the box and boom goes the dynamite!!!
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Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Back from blond

Okay a week ago I was blond, and now my hair is black. Last week I was unsure about my status with my Jamaican and now things are better than before. On Sunday I had a breakdown, a complete and utter breakdown. Then I turned it over to God. I asked for help, to stop obsessing over what I have no real power over. That I'd be okay if things didn't work out. The next day it all worked out better than I even imagined. In life you sometimes have to turn yourself over to a greater power. In no way should it be seen as a weakness, but as a strength.
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Sunday, April 10, 2011

The sweetness of doing nothing

Dolce far niente= The sweetness of doing nothing. This is an Italian way of life. This is my way of life. I do have the art of nothingness down to a science. I put myself out there today, and I'm feeling nervous and anxious. The question that needs to be asked is, is it better to put it all out there and have concrete answers or is it better to pretend and not say what is really going on? Right now I just don't know.
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Friday, April 8, 2011

I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul.

I believe you can will things to happen to you. That if you truly believe in something and know that it will happen, it will happen. I now have a clarity that I lacked before. I found a fit, a place to be and now I just have to work towards that goal. I see it happening, and I know it will happen. This picture is my board, and it looks blank, but what it is is me having a wide open future.
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Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Back to blond

I'm not sure if I like my new hair color or not, but I have it now and its gonna work!!! I'm so confused looking for answers I'm not sure will come or if the answers given will be the answer I want to hear. If I had to choose I'd pick the knowing. Because this not knowing is driving me crazy. So I made an attempt to get an answer, if I don't get one then I still have options, but let's just see what happens.
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Monday, April 4, 2011

Maybe Not

Well this will be short. I must say that life is what you make it, you are in control of your own good time. I recently thought that I was going to have a not so good time and it wound up being the exact opposite. Did everything work our perfectly? No, no and again no. But its all about the reactions to those things that are important and determine how you'll feel in that situation. I went in thinking that once I left things would be drastically different, that I had to change everything. And then someone pointed our to me, things don't have to change, if I want them to continue they can. I decided that I want them to, and I hope its not a unilateral feeling.
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Sunday, April 3, 2011

Over NYC

The trip that I talked about for what seems like month has now come and gone and I'm left with mixed emotions. Sadness, thoughts of what could have been but are now realities and it makes me sad. I don't want nor wish to start crying again so with this I'm happy to be going home.
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