Sunday, November 6, 2011

Black is the new blond.

I wish I took better pictures. I consider myself a very pretty girl, but photogenic I am not. I have to try and find my best light, and my smile could use some work and the camera adds a huge amount if weight. My current hair color is black, I can't think of a time as an adult that my hair color has ever been black. Dark reddish brown, yes but jet I must say it gives me a truly different look, and my hair looks really healthy and strong. I look in the mirror and I feel good. But when I take a picture, I look very blah. Good thing I live in real life and not in pictures :-).

Today I feel a lot if different emotions. Anxious, nervous, unsettled, and very high with energy. Which is strange because I woke up about 2 am and stayed up for hours. Thinking and wondering and wishing. I Googled locations and flights and thought of gifts and family issues and wrote more of my novel and finally forced myself to sleep.

When you know what you want without any doubt, waiting for it to come about is like dying a slow death each moment between what is and what should be. I have never been more commited to a person, place or thing, excluding Samantha in my life and his presence makes me happy.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you

Whenever I hear about famous people who once had a different career they always say that they gave themselves a period of time to make it before they gave up on their dreams. I'm going to do this for myself. I want to live in New York. I'm not sure when I'm going to get there but I know it will be soon. I'm giving myself a year. In that year I'm going to continue to work at moving up. But I'm also going to write, not one but two books. I also promise to do a better job maintaining my blog. A lot can happen in a year. You could meet someone fall in love get married and then get divorced all in the course of 365 days. In these next 365 I plan on making my dreams come true.