I recently started watching the show How I Met Your Mother. Very funny show and the gist is a father telling his kids how he met their mother and the wild stuff that happened song the way. Now although I don't have kids and if I did I'd be the "mother" I relate to another character. That of perpetually single player of the group Barney.
Barney is a playa from the himalayas and he's at a crossroads in his life. He finds a girl that he is willing to break the rules for, things he NEVER saw himself doing he now longs for. Yet he still has the playa image in his head of how he should be, so much so, that he can't let himself be happy with the one person who could make him happy. That is me in a nutshell. I pick the wrong men for seemingly the right reasons. I see myself one way, and happily married with kids being a conformist is not the vision I have for myself.
I would rather date a homeless crack head than take a chance on finding someone that could make me happy. In fact the moment I get involved with someone who is nice and genuinely cares about me, my alter ego whom I'll call the saboteur comes out. She will hunt and find any little thing she can to stop me from forming a true meaningful bond. And I must say that Sabby is always hard on her grind. She throws up roads blocks as soon as a nice guy even looks at me. That chick will not let a hard working legally employed man enter into my realm if consciousness. But the broken beat down I rode on the short bus to school crack head gets a free pass everytime.
Why? Because she knows it won't last and ultimately its my fault because that is what I set up for myself. Sabby is just doing her job, and like myself she is good at what she does. The question that needs to be raised is, is Sabby really needed or can she finally be retired?
And honestly I can say that her time has come to an end. I have a new job for her. This one I'm sure she'll enjoy. She is now on team block the crackheads, illiterate, jobless, locked up and simply no good men from my sight. I'm positive that she will do as fine a job in her new upgraded position as she did in her old one. I'm sure she'll enjoy the perks, among which is happiness.
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